In a fast-paced world, where women are navigating different career paths while juggling the home front, homeschooling and the choice to stay at home to care for one’s children seem a much-desired but not-so-easy lifestyle for some women.
With the peculiarities of contemporary societies, many families find value in the simplicity of personalised education and creating a conducive environment to nurture their children and maintaining a stable, strong family unit. The decision to embrace homeschooling and prioritise family over external pressures is a somewhat deliberate and meaningful choice for some.
Mrs Tomilola Olatunde embarked on the journey of homeschooling when her first son clocked one year in 2018 because she couldn’t find a suitable school around her vicinity in Lagos.
Transitioning from a tech support career to photography and embracing the role of a stay-at-home mom, she opted to homeschool her one-year-old son temporarily till he was a few years older to attend a regular school.
What initially seemed like a temporary solution evolved into her newfound passion for homeschooling. Now, seven years later, with her second child in tow, her passion has blossomed into a blog and she now has a community of fellow homeschoolers called Cuddle Blog, right here in Lagos.
In an interview with The Record’s Omon Okhuevbie, Olatunde discussed her experiences and challenges in homeschooling her children amidst the bustling environment of Lagos. She also delves into her passion for the expanding community of homeschoolers in Lagos, shedding light on her career and addressing the obstacles and criticisms that accompany being a stay-at-home mom and a homeschooler.
The interview has been edited for clarity and brevity.
Omon Okhuevbie: Can you introduce yourself to us?
Tomilola Olatunde: My name is Tomilola Olatunde, I am a stay-at-home mom and a homeschooling mom. I have two kids. One is seven, the other is two years old.
OO: Was homeschooling an idea you’ve always had? And what were you doing before you became a stay at home mom?
TO: Before I got married, I was working for a cloud computing firm, where I was basically a technical support person at the company. I also had a photography hobby. I took a course in photography at the time. I bought a camera and then I wanted to learn a lot more. Somebody introduced me to my now husband and that’s how we met.
So, I just felt that if I had to leave my job, I was just going to do photography. I started photography when I got married. I did not see myself on this journey at all, in any shape or form. It took a lot of getting-used-to in the sense that I had to make the conscious choice and that was not easy.
Along the line now, I found a way to merge that career with what I’m doing now. This is in the sense that I still do photography but I changed the line of photography that I do to help me combine homeschooling and photography. So, I decided to do product photography.
OO: What actually made you choose to homeschool your children?
TO: When our son turned one, I started looking for schools around where I live. We didn’t find a suitable school in my area.
One thing that I knew I wasn’t going to be doing was waking up a one-year-old every morning by 6am or 5am because we wanted him to go to school. Are there good schools around Lagos? Yes, they are but where you are located also matters. If you are not in proximity to a good school, it becomes difficult. I didn’t find one I was satisfied with around my area in Lagos. So, I decided that I was still going to hold back at home for a while. In speaking to my husband, he told me that there is something called home schooling? That he has an older auntie who homeschooled her five children in Lagos and I was surprised.
So, I started my research from then on. I initially planned to homeschool my son till he was five years old when we would be more comfortable with sending him out into the world. After starting my homeschooling journey, I fell in love with it. Now, he is seven and we are still going strong.
OO: What inspired you to start Cuddle Blog?
TO: Cuddle Blog started after I had my first son. I have always been a blogger; I had a Christian blog at the time that I managed. What I was experiencing didn’t fit into the blog that I was doing. I was experiencing new things; I didn’t know who to talk to. So I started sharing my journey online and that was what birthed the Cuddle Blog.
OO: How many parents and children are in your community?
TO: We have a growing community of 50 people right now on our virtual platform. We have people that come for our meet-ups, about 20 are really regular. That’s about 20 parents and about 25 or 30 kids, who come when we have our hangouts. We try to create a space for homeschoolers twice a month to either do a field trip or some other learning activity together.
I think the community is important because when we come together and talk about what we are doing. We have resources within the community. There are people that probably were educators before that can also hand-hold someone else that is just starting out. So, the community has been a great help and we started late last year actively.
OO: Do you have any academic background related to education?
TO: I studied computer science. I don’t have any background related to education. Basically, I tell people that if you’re deciding to homeschool, all you need is love for your child and that love will propel you to do the research that you need along the journey. I mean, when you become a parent, nobody tells you this is exactly how to go about the parenting process, except you have amazing friends that have gone through the journey ahead of you. It is love that will make you find out what exactly you need for this parenting journey. It is the same thing with homeschooling as well because every knowledge is acquirable.
What helped me in the early phase was that I wondered what exactly is a one year old supposed to learn that I cannot teach him? As we progressed on the journey, things started getting a little more difficult. I still do research; I find out new things. Homeschooling doesn’t mean that you are the only one that has to be involved in teaching the child. You’re just in charge of their education and you can always bring people into your home to help you out on the journey.
Even though I don’t have an education background, I have done a lot of training. I have done a lot of research and I have also leaned on the expertise of other people.
OO: Do you sometimes feel like your homeschooling curriculum for your children is not up to par with the regular school curriculum? Or maybe your children can’t compete with other regular school pupils in their studies?
TO: In my journey as a homeschooler, there are many times you doubt yourself. I’ve doubted myself a lot of times. I have thought about the fact that he might not measure up with his peers? I’ve thought about the fact that I was doing too much or not doing enough? But you have to realise that it is normal in life; whatever you do, you have those doubts too.
The beauty of this is that, if everything fails, you know that you have an alternative. That’s why we’re homeschooling. We see it as an alternative to traditional education. If you get to a point where you feel like you can’t do it anymore, you still have a choice to go the other route.
I have my doubts and I try as much as possible, within the best of my capacity, to do my best. But I am not alone. I have a community of people that are homeschooling with me. We are comparing notes. We are seeing what is working and what is not working. You have the results of the child in front of you and you can also meet other children and you can compare. You’re not comparing, so to speak. You are seeing that this is still possible because it’s not like the children are missing anything.
OO: Can you share some challenges you’ve faced as a homeschooler in a bustling city like Lagos?
TO: In a city like Lagos, the challenges are enormous. Part of the things that we do in my homeschool is that we go out a lot. A huge challenge, for us, is traffic.
Another challenge is not enough public spaces for kids. There might be spaces for children on the mainland but when you come all the way to the island, there is just one public space for kids. When I say public space, I mean parks that are owned by the state government.
There is also the challenge of not having enough places to go. I have literally gone almost everywhere on the island where I live. There is no new place we can go again. I am not saying that you should turn everywhere into a place for kids. It is good to at least have a healthy option where you can go. You don’t have to really think too much about having to go too far to have a safe space for you and our child.
OO: What are the negative views about stay-at-home moms and homeschooling that you want to change?
TO: One negative view people have about stay-at-home moms and homeschooling moms is that they are miserable. I think maybe it is the generation before us. They have spread this narrative and have forced it down our throat that it must be one way. We cannot keep generalising. People should make their own choices.
OO: Can you share any empowering moments you’ve encountered during your homeschooling journey that align with the spirit of International Women’s Day?
TO: There are two ways that it has been empowering for me. One of them is that it has given me the opportunity to provide a counter narrative for the next generation. Being in charge of my children’s education is empowering. I have two boys. I am helping them to understand what inclusion is all about. They see things in the light of the ideal status quo in a society.
Another empowering moment was when I was interviewed by an international media organisation. We talked about being a stay-at-home mom, which is not something that you see in the mainstream. I was celebrated. It is not as if I was making money, they wanted to talk about my experience as a stay-at-home mom. I felt proud.
I am hoping more for a society where we celebrate every woman regardless of their status. This is regardless of what she brings or doesnt bring to the table. They are not always celebrating stay at home mums in that way. They celebrate stay at home mums who have made money or who are making money from their home. The essence of the day is to celebrate the uniqueness of every woman and not everybody’s journey will be the same.
OO: What advice would you give to a parent starting out on the stay-at-home and homeschooling journey?
TO: It is not a walk in the park. Either of them requires a lot of effort and energy. It is an overwhelming journey. You are going to be leaving your 9-5 career to do this for 24/7. That is what we are doing as homeschooling parents. You have to be dedicated to it and understand that it’s not going to be easy. If it is something that you really want to do, being committed to the process is very important.
If you are transitioning, it’s important that you also consider the financial implications. I am an advocate for women making money from home. I am not an advocate for staying idle or not doing anything. If your priority is to work on educating your kids, then you should do it well. You would have that at the top of your priority list and then the other things come next. That means that before you find something else to do as a hobby, you have to create a buffer by saving some money which you can fall back on when you really need money.
After you start, you can pick up something that you’re passionate about to make money. You can create a blog, maintain an online presence, update your Curriculum Vitae and keep up with industry news. I think that’s important so that when you are ready to launch out, you are not starting from ground zero.
